Bargaining in Paradise

Here in Vietnam and all of SE Asia, all purchases are expected after buyers and sellers bargain over the price. My husband, Chuck, a former personal injury attorney, is an expert at this process and finds it a "fun game," joking with each seller. However, as a former Special Ed. teacher, I struggle with each transaction, feeling pity for the poverty stricken sellers with babies on their backs (I tend to give them their second price quickly) and am seen as a "soft touch" (or worse!).
In Vietnam, after 200 years of wars, sellers see bargaining as their "meal ticket" and approach it as serious business, rarely backing down from their second given price even after the buyer walks away. We discovered an extreme example of this attitude when visiting the town of Sapa in Northern Vietnam. Sapa is surrounded by very poor hill tribe villages filled with Black Hmong people who make their living selling handmade items to tourists. When we left our hotel, a gang of Hmong women followed us, chatting in English about our families, names etc. After we shot a photo of one woman with baby (wearing her Hmong clothing), we noticed her following us everywhere, waiting outisde restaurants and stores for us. When we said "Bye, bye," she said "NO Bye, bye! You buy from me!" We finally had to run through the crowd to escape. The next day, I was painting on our balcony when I heard yelling from the street. Four Hmong teenage girls were holding up handicrafts in my direction and yelling "Buy from me now!" I finally went inside and painted in the room, feeling harassed and tired.
We finally found a short term solution to this problem. Chuck began answering in German to the tribal people and they looked confused, speaking only English and Hmong. As they left, I practiced the German I know, which is "Auf weiterzen" (goodbye) and "Ich ben ein Berliner" (I am a Berliner, ala JFK). It worked! Even though my accent is terrible, they looked confused and walked away, oblivious to my obvious lie.
I try to be sensitive to the culture wherever I travel, reading about each country beforehand. But Vietnam poses many challenges to an independent Western traveler, both good and bad. I love the beautiful scenery and fabulous, cheap food. But dealing with these war wounded people grasping at prosperity has convinced me that an English speakng tour guide would be very helpful here. Don't get me wrong: This is a fascinating country to visit
but requires some preparation and cultural educaton beforehand. Buyers, beware!

Was There a War in Vetnam?

It feels strange to vacation in a country that was repeatedly bombed by your own country. Growing up during the Vietnam War, I feel hesitant to answer "America" when locals ask where I am from. But "no worries." The Vietnamese have all moved on with their busy lives and few talk about War. Everyone here is up by 7:30 AM, eats breakfast within 3 minutes, and heads for work or school on their motorcycles. No one "hangs out." Locals are anxious to help tourists, practice their English, and smile broadly at you.
Our oddest experience here was our visit to Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum. After a security check, we were ushered into two lines leading to the huge concrete monument set above the city. Inside the low lit room was Ho himself lying in a velvet casket in his peasant outfit with a small smile, healthy looking skin and a wimpy little white goatee. The Vietnamese must have great embalming fluid, working for over 30 years or perhaps it was borrowed from Lenin in Moscow! Anyway, the Vietnamese worship him, referring to him as "Uncle Ho," while his photo looks down on everyone all over the country. They are all proud and working hard to build their independent, communist country. It is inspiring to watch!
Our best experience was a two day boat trip on Halang Bay, a green bay filled with humpy limestone islands. We kayaked for two days in sunshine moving in and out of caves filled with stalagmites. At night we were served 7 course meals under the stars. Good French food abouds here, even duck breast. Most things are very cheap and there is so much to see, although not many Buddhist monks for me to paint! Vietnam is much more than a war and a great bargain destination for any tourist! We are here until March 10, when we will sadly head back home again.

Long Live the King

Here in the Kingdom of Thailand, there is no concept for "freedom of speech." This constitutional monarchy is ruled by a beloved Thai king, age 80 plus, from the lineage of Rama V, even though the prime minister makes most governmental decisions. Every public office or hotel bears a large framed photo of the King (with his thick nerdy glasses) and the Queen, proudly displayed by the front desk. There is no tolerance for criticism of his family or lack of respect in public, a difficult concept for us Americans. Two years ago, a Dutch E-Pat sprayed critical graffiti of the King on a train car. He was promptly imprisoned without trial in the "Bangkok Hilton" Prison and never heard from again. These Thais do not "fool around" when it comes to their King!
Chuck and I got a taste of this national reverence (so foreign to us) last week. Staying on the S. Thai island of Kho Phangan with our son Nate, age 25, we shared dinner with two other tourists. Federico is an Italian real estate mogul here to spearfish. His Thai girlfriend Patra vacations here each year with him. Chuck casually asked her who would follow the King once he "passes on." Her eyes quickly filled with tears and she replied, "I cannot think about that." She then membled something about his good deeds, Harvard education, etc. It felt like we had asked about her father or brother's recent passing. Astounding!
Just two months ago, the Bangkok Airport was shut down for days due to public riots regarding a former prime minister's desire for reinstatement. What did the King do? Nothing that we know of, no speech, no appearance, etc. He seems to operate only as a figurehead representing "all that is good" while living in a gorgeous Royal Palace with his big family.
What leader and following do we have like this in the US? No one. We pride ourselves in our democratic election system and individual rights, but perhaps we are missing something - a trust and idealism in our leaders, a feeling that "all is well at the top." Maybe that willl never happen in the US, but it is inspiring to watch it here, as long as everyone says "the right things about the King." Long may he live! Next, we are on to Vietnam, a communist country.